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Guide · 6 min read

Online dating scam signs: is the person real?

Romance scammers are patient, convincing and very good at their jobs. If your match won't meet, won't video chat, and eventually needs money, slow down. Here is how to check.

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  • Written byOur Nashville detectives
  • UpdatedOctober 25, 2026
  • Reading time6 minutes
  • Related serviceRomance & dating scams
The short version
  • Refusing to meet or video chat, moving fast emotionally, and any request for money are the classic warning signs.
  • A reverse image search of their photos is a free first check.
  • If you sent money, report it quickly to your bank, IC3.gov and the FTC.

Red flags

  • They are always just out of reach: overseas, on an oil rig, deployed, or traveling for work
  • They avoid video calls or have constant camera problems
  • They profess strong feelings very quickly
  • They push to move the conversation off the dating app
  • There is a crisis that needs money: customs fees, medical bills, a frozen account
  • They ask for gift cards, wire transfers or cryptocurrency
  • They pitch an investment opportunity

Checks you can do yourself

  1. Run their profile photos through a reverse image search.
  2. Search their name, phone number and any employer they mention.
  3. Ask for a live video call at a time you choose.
  4. Talk to a trusted friend. Scammers work by isolating their targets.

If you have already sent money

Contact your bank or payment service immediately; some transfers can be stopped or recalled if you act fast. Report the scam to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov and to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. Stop sending money, even if they promise it is the last time, and be wary of anyone offering to “recover” your money for a fee.

When to get a professional check

If the relationship is important to you, or a family member is involved and won’t listen, a detective can verify identity discreetly. See our romance and dating scam investigations and pre-marital background checks.

This guide is general information, not legal advice. Laws change and every situation is different; talk to a Tennessee attorney about your case. Last reviewed October 25, 2026.

When you’re ready

How we can help

Licensed Tennessee private detectives, lawful methods, and reports written for the people who will read them.

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Quick answers

Common questions

All guides →

How can I verify someone I met online?

Start with a reverse image search and a live video call. For a deeper check, a detective can verify identity, address, marital status and history.

Can I get my money back from a romance scam?

Sometimes, if you report quickly to your bank. Report to IC3.gov and the FTC, and beware of recovery scams.

Talk it through with a detective.

Confidential, no-pressure. We’ll tell you honestly whether a detective is worth it for your situation.

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